Anonymous said: Anon: I think it's infatuation. You need to try to move on like she has. It sounds like this relationship has only been problematic lately and you need to let her go. Best of luck.
This is a question for anyone who can help me. This might be long but here’s my story. For a year and a half, I have been talking to this girl online. At first, it was just normal “She’s someone to talk to” type person. Didn’t expect us to talk for more than a week and then move to someone else like usual. However, 8 months later, we become very close and I actually started liking her a lot. I never meant to make her push her friends away for me but I, for sometime, had her all to myself for a good 5 months. Between these 5 months I learned so much about her. I had her take the enneagram and mbti test and she is an 8w7 ENFP and I am a 6w5 INTJ. We have discussed at one point how we want to meet some day and I of course explained to her how I want her to just be happy even if it means she finds someone physically to replace me. I told her as long as we stay friends, I will be happy. 2 months left, she found a guy which I suspected but her course of action for leaving me ticked me off. Here we are liking each other and these 2 months left, she pushes me to the side not answering calls, texts, when we were on the phone, she is texting her friends, when she’s on the phone with her friends, she doesn’t text me and i just felt so used. Like what happened? I manipulated her into a call and a serious talk she hates having and her words to me were “I don’t know why I’m like this. All I know is I can go long periods of time without you now. That guy I met was just so I can stop focusing on you.” That didn’t hurt me what she told me. What hurt me was those were her actions of doing all of this. Now we text from time to time and I still love her and cannot stop thinking about her but I don’t let it interfere with anything. I tried finding others online to channel my mind off and all these others do, is remind me of her or bore me. My questions are, do you think I really am in love or is it infatuation maybe? Somehow I managed to believe I really only loved her because I told her things I never told anybody and I want her to not saying anything to others. So, I tell myself I don’t want to let her go out of fear of her telling others. Could that be it too? I honestly don’t know what’s wrong with me or her.
Anyone have advice for Anon? I know there are people who know relationship matters better than I do.
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Anonymous said: I find I am secretively competitive, in that I will work on my own time to become very very good at something, and then jump into competition with at least a little bit of know-how. Since some things can't be self taught, I will still have to work to be the best, but I like that look people give you when they didn't expect you to just come in out of nowhere and rock the boat. Makes things fun.
Anonymous said: Have you noticed INTJs to be more competitive than other types, possibly linked to the drive for perfection?
Quite possibly, I know I’m a competitive person.
Anonymous said: What about INTJ's and asexuality?
Well, what about it?
INTJs probably have the same or too-similar-to-be-statistically-meaningful rates of asexuality as all other types. I doubt sexuality is dictated or influenced by MBTI very much.
Anonymous said: I've seen a lot of posts here, and in the "INTJ" tag that say that INTJ's don't usually feel strong emotions, however, I tend to feel strong emotions a lot, but thed to not show then, Also, I see sensing emotions more as a problem, like a question on a test. Does this mean I am not INTJ? I a slightly confused.
Not at all, you can be INTJ and feel strong emotions. There are different “levels” of types, I suppose. Some INTJs are more in touch with their feeling function, and there are even cases where INTJs can be relatively balanced in all categories.
You don’t have to have all of the typically INTJ issues to be INTJ, or any other type for that matter.
Anonymous said: I always judge people in my mind; I cortisone them, pick out every detail, and almost always give a solution to fix it. However, if I see another person judging someone, I go and tell that person that he/she is rude and immediately become insensitive. Is there a way I can stop analyzing people like they are a mathematical or chemical equation? I feel really bad about being insensitive me it sometimes makes me depressed.
The trick I use is that every time you catch yourself doing that, A) scold yourself for acting/thinking that way and B) to find something about the person that is positive, and remind yourself of it.
I used to have this issue, it really just takes some self-discipline to fix. After doing it enough, you will start to see people less as problems to solve and more as people with a balance of “good” and “bad” within them.