probeiotics said: Im frustrated, I want friendship and don't know what to do. The only real friend I have is long distance and theyre INTP male but their homicidal rage and clashing of "minds" agitates me. How do you find someone whos fun and smart but doesnt make everything about their FEELS and talking about sex, etc? I cant befriend most men because theyre primal fools and girls are too far gone up their own bum. I can very nice, I listen, and I care but I just cant connect and this upsets me.

It’s just a matter of chance mostly, and opening yourself up to enough people with similar interests that you find someone you can mesh well with.  It’s hard to find people to connect with, but I’d suggest trying to talk to people with similar interests?

Tumblr is a good place, because most people have an “about” page and their blog content is pretty telling of who they are.  Maybe reach out to some of your favorite bloggers?

Connection also comes on its own time, it’s really not something you can rush.  It’ll come as you make friends, though.

Anonymous said: I know people are asking about careers but Ive REALLY been wondering if as an INTJ if I should go into social work/psychology. Im very empathetic and do like to help people but at the same time Ill turn off and not care about anything or anyone just as easily. Idk I feel professionally that might not be the case, but Id like a non relative opinion

Psychology is actually a good field for INTJs, I think, because of the vastness of the subject pool.  An INTJ in social work or psychology—especially an empathetic one—will never be without something new or interesting to do, given the people-oriented nature of their work and how much it covers.

If it’s what you want to do, I know you’ll do well there.

Anonymous said: I'm an intj and I might be going into communications. >.<


(And if those dreams involve chucking the broken government out the window, I’ll send you cookies someday.)

Anonymous said: if im an intj do you think it's still a good idea for me to go into politics


In my opinion, politics needs a MAJOR overhaul.  A sort of domino effect to knock the broken system straight out of practice.  Definitely go into politics.  Use that original mind of yours and disrupt the system.  Do it.

hupholland-hup said: I'm an INTJ. My friend is also. I like a girl who's a bit of an introvert and tends to overthink things. I think she might be an INFJ. I don't know. I think she knows and is acting differently around me in the last couple days. My INTJ friend told me the best way to clear it up is to just tell her I like her. It'd apparently end the constant analyzing going on in my head. Is this true?

Yeah, I think so.  At least on this matter, simple solutions are the easiest to overanalyze though there really isn’t much to them.

Anonymous said: Hi! I'm an INFJ with an INTJ boyfriend. It's great and amazing, but we sometimes have communication issues. When a serious situation comes up, I want to discuss it but he shuts down and either ignores it or makes it into a joke. Is that a normal INTJ thing and how can I be able to talk to him about these things while still respecting his boundaries?

Communication issues run deep in INTJs, it seems.

Maybe present the issue as fact?  You could be attempting to approach him with issues from a more feelings-based perspective—something that INTJs have a really hard time with (especially us younger ones, with underdeveloped feeling functions).  The best course of action would be to look for fact-based points in the issue you’re trying to discuss, it would be easier for him.

However, do not disregard your own feelings in favor of turning every situation into a grid of facts.  The way you feel is just as important as the way he thinks, and he ought to be working towards some compromise as well.

Lately I have been bored along with feeling lazy and I must say, I absolutely want to do nothing.  I haven’t even been thinking in my head anymore lately cause it’s like a chore lately.  Every day I wake up, my head is completely blank and I feel as if I’m just this walking human without feeling or thought.  At this point, I usually snap out of it but this has been going on for the better part of a month.  It feels like I’m just empty inside.  I don’t know why this happened to me or how to fix this cause it used to happen a lot but, ended quickly.  These feelings would only last for a couple days.  My reasons for it not being depression, is because I know how I am when I am depressed.  Do any other INTJs feel empty on a constant basis?  How long do these things last for you and how do you snap out of it? Help is grately appreciated.

That empty feeling is a form of depression, I’m afraid.  If this has been going on for about a month, it may be pretty serious.  I, however, am not a psychologist, so this is what I can offer:

This was the form my own depression took.  I ignored it long enough for it to put me in the hospital, and I suggest against you looking the other way and letting it take its course.  While meds aren’t a permanent solution, sometimes we go through rough patches that they can help pull us out of.  Another option is herbal remedies, I know Wal Mart (of all places) sells some decent teas.  Finding things to do also helps—hikes (or walking/running), art projects, things like that (this option takes the most willpower).

abbykseal said: I just discovered this, which makes me ridiculously relieved that there are actually other INTJs out there. Especially ones that feel like they shouldn't be typecast as the villain. I just wanna ask, since I am female, is it true that female INTJs are pretty rare? I wouldn't be all that surprised to be honest but I was just curious.

Yeah, we’re supposed to be a rare breed apparently.

Anonymous said: hey so I believe myself to be an intj but I don't judge people and think it's ok. I feel like other people on here judge people and are ok with it. not that that's a bad thing but I always feel guilty while doing so. does this set me apart from other intj's?

Nah, I don’t think so.  Most INTJs set their moral codes differently from what society may dictate as moral which—while often not falling in line with society—may also fall directly in line with the typical “thou shalt not judge” rule.  It’s a rule I try to live by myself, in fact.

Anonymous said: Do have problems looking people in the eyes when talking to them?

I’m not sure if it’s an INTJ thing or not, but I do have to consciously remind myself to look people in the eyes when I’m talking to them.

Anyone else?